Something about hot weather makes me lose cooking motivation and despise being in the kitchen. And so I try what Your Favorite Ice Cream Flavors Says About Your Personality avoid it as much as possible.
Well just in case you are also giving your kitchen the side eye these days, let me share with you what has been my no-cook dessert savior and the talk of my summer entertaining. Three words for you my friend. I mean, it’s ice cream for heavens sake! Folks supposedly scream for this stuff, right? I’ve been using ice cream buffets for all of my summer entertaining this year and people go nuts over them. Something about seeing a table full of colorful topping options and ice cream just automatically evoke smiles from kids and adults. This is a huge win in my book because it only takes a few minutes to throw together, can satisfy a crowd and requires no cooking.
Ok so that last one was a lie but being that ice cream buffets are so quick and easy to create, I totally feel like I’m cheating and getting more credit than I deserve. Yesterday I set up a really simple ice cream buffet on the porch after dinner and of course the boys loved it! Thankfully, JCPenney was my one-stop-shop for pretty much everything I needed to create this ice cream buffet. Take advantage of their hot summer sales going on right now! I’ve linked directly to the products I used in this post to make it easier for you.
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Get a table- Any table will do. I love how elegant this tablecloth made my raggedy old pale grey table look. I hide all of my topping refills under the table. If you’re going with a theme, the tablecloth is a great way to add some personality to your ice cream buffet. For example, a brightly colored tablecloth with a raffia table skirt would look great for a backyard luau. Grab some ice cream- Keep it simple or serve up multiple flavors! I usually keep it simple and go with a homemade vanilla bean ice cream since it pairs well with various toppings!
I used the vanilla ice cream recipe that came with my ice cream maker and added fresh vanilla beans. I’d suggest bringing the ice cream out only when you are ready to serve it or placing the cartons of ice cream in a bucket of ice to keep it frozen. Gather up lots of toppings: This is the fun part and what makes ice cream buffets so cool! Be as wild or tamed as you like, bacon anyone? Clear, glass bowls paired with clear spoons are perfect for showcasing all of the toppings. Choose cones, bowls, cups, etc: You’ll need a way to serve the ice cream.
I opted for sugar cones, sundae glasses, and porcelain ice cream bowls. You can jazz up store-bought cones by brushing the rims with chocolate and adding sprinkles. If you’re really feeling creative or want to have colorful waffle cones to match your theme try using a waffle cone maker to create your own homemade waffle cones! If you going with a theme now is a great time to add themed items. Create an ice cream buffet banner, throw on some colorful table confetti or create custom topping name cards. Be creative and think outside the box, chances are you probably already have things in your house that can be used for your ice cream buffet. I used mason jars to hold the waffle cones and a colorful, upside down storage box to display my white porcelain bowls.
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Head to your nearest JCPenney or jcpenney. What’s your favorite thing about summer entertaining? For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. The Official Rules are available here. For me summer is best when my family come all together to celebrate my grandmom Muls birthday. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.
Learn how your comment data is processed. Here is where you’ll find traditional Southern cooking for the modern woman! Sorry, this content is not available in your region. Easily clip, save and share what you find with family and friends. Easily download and save what you find. Politics are at a fever pitch right now, and America is galvanized by presidential candidates going at each other tooth and nail. This is the time when politicians make big promises to the country and say mean things about each other on television.
Now, you may have figured this out already, but I am not a very political person. My life is generally very simple. I only live by a few personal rules, and my top rule is, don’t be a dickhole. This might seem like an easy rule to live by, but you would be surprised at how many human beings are incapable of doing basic things such as this.
That being said, there is one particular presidential candidate that seems to live by the opposite rule, which is, always be a dickhole, and that is Donald Trump. Donald Trump frequently does very bizarre things, and this is coming from me, a human trainwreck. He once said he would probably date his own daughter, and talked about the size of his penis during a televised debate recently. But I am also good at using Twitter, and I like to ask Donald Trump penis questions sometimes.
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What’s the best kind of swimsuit to hide an erection? I did not get a response to this Very Important Question. Now, a good way to understand someone’s character is by the food they like to eat. For example, I eat a lot of pet food, toothpaste, and baby formula. Dannis Ree, you know a lot about food and personality. Can you look into Donald Trump’s favorite foods and analyze them from a critical food standpoint?
There’s no way this assbag knows anything about food. This could be hilarious and people will think you are being political even though you are actually just being a turd as usual. It is very important to get into the mindset of the person you are trying to understand better. Since Donald Trump has a very silly haircut, I have revived this old picture of me wearing a similar-colored wig. This is called method acting, which is a technique many famous actors use to become the characters they play in a movie. I knew that this was working when I began to feel like an enormous asshole.
I’ll go through this list from least-offensive to most-offensive, you know, for a little tension, and to force you to read the whole stupid thing. Donald Trump is apparently a peanut fiend. According to Eater, Donald Trump likes to eat them and not just talk about them. Sometimes I like to eat peanuts. If you want to pretend you’re a really knowledgeable food writer, go around telling people that peanuts are actually legumes and not tree nuts, but do it unprompted, like at an NRA rally or something.
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Everyone will consider you a real resource of information while they’re waving their guns around in the air. I do not know many people who just sit around eating peanuts. According to this Newsmax article, Donald Trump enjoys cheeseburgers that are well-done. I prefer mine medium-rare if they’re thicker, because they aren’t cooked to hell that way, but depending on the style of burger sometimes well-done can also be okay — specifically if they’re thin, griddled patties with a delicious seared crust exterior. I have a feeling he has chronic diarrhea anyway which is why he always appears orange. Another suspicion I also have is that Donald Trump is a hairy nutsack who may actually be comprised of a bunch of racist garden gnomes glued together. People who think medium-rare meat is raw generally don’t understand many basic things, like how to be a decent person.
I’m talking about Donald Trump specifically and not any of you guys. When you think about it, a meatloaf sandwich isn’t much different from a hamburger. It is stupid only because one of Trump’s favorite foods is pretty much the same thing as another one of his favorite foods. According to US Weekly, Donald Trump likes cherry-vanilla ice cream. I searched all over the freezer section at my nice grocery store and did not find anything listed as cherry-vanilla, but I did find a cherry ice cream with vanilla in it. Vanilla ice cream is like the missionary position of ice cream. Adding cherry to vanilla ice cream is like adding a finger in the back door, while everything else about the sex stays more or less the same.
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I had some of this cherry-vanilla-ish ice cream and decided it was actually kind of gross. Also another thing about this sex analogy is that Donald Trump has children, which means someone probably did some sex things with him in order for that to happen. I picture him on all fours being milked like a cow. What I’m saying is that Donald Trump might be your father because of your mother’s murky past. This was supposed to be about ice cream and I referred to fingers in b-holes instead. This redirection is Trump’s signature move and so is the butthole thing. We’re starting to get into dumber food territory here.
Bacon and eggs are generally quite delicious, right? Well, according to People magazine, Donald Trump likes his bacon medium and his eggs over-well. This shit is flaccid, flabby, and chewy, not to mention extra greasy, and we’re already talking about bacon. What kind of monster likes leathery bacon?
I really like my eggs soft, such as in poached, soft-boiled, or sunny side up, but I know other people prefer them in different ways. Many people I know only eat scrambled eggs, but Trump likes his eggs cooked over-well, which means the whites are rubbery and the yolks are chalky, dry, and overcooked. Maybe he will threaten to build a Mexican wall around people who like runny eggs too. Let’s just build a wall around Trump instead and let him eat his rubbery breakfast in silence. Food and Wine reports that Donald Trump orders his steaks well-done. This guy is hellbent on ruining everything. Also, check out this horrible commercial.
It’s not really so much of a commercial as it is just Trump shouting at the camera for nearly two minutes about steak. It’s pretty clear he has no idea what he’s talking about. He promptly ran his steak business into the ground after that. Just keep it on there for an another 20 minutes just to be safe. I mean, look at that thing. Harvey, an invertebrate stuffed animal, managed to do a Matrix-style backflip in this photo while Mr.
Bee tried to fly away from it. I caught it all on camera. You could actually play hockey with that thing, it’s so rubbery. Stop talking about building dumb walls. Learn how to eat food like an adult and not an overgrown child who resembles a constipated raisin.
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Okay, everyone loves a good slice of pizza. I love pizza, you love pizza, your mother loves having sex on top of pizza, pizza is great. The real issue is that Donald Trump doesn’t eat the pizza crust. This guy scrapes the toppings off the pizza and just eats that instead.
That is like eating a mozzarella stick with sauce and random pizza toppings thrown in. And people want him to be president? Bee couldn’t even bear to look at that naked pizza crust. What kind of person can’t even eat pizza correctly? You’re looking at a massive pile of food-based failure right now, guys. And no, I’m not going to waste it.
I’ll grudgingly eat all of it to simulate the Donald Trump lifestyle for the next few days. I’m slowly going to turn bright orange, shrivel up, and become an angry, spoiled little kid in an old man’s body. Who knows, maybe on his childish diet I’ll hate most of humanity as much as he does. With all the money he has you’d think he could put it all where his mouth is, but it turns out his mouth is actually his ass.
Trump goes into a gold-lined porta potty with this picture, some lube, and you know what happens next. What I’m implying is that he jerks off to a picture of himself. I guess it’s not implying anything if I just explained it. She’d have much more sense than to sleep with him. It’s pretty much the worst thing I’ve ever said or done, which is pretty cool.
Also my version of sex is crying. We used to ask if someone was slaughtering a deer when they were masturbating because of the sounds. Okay we never asked it, we just implied it. Oh, that guy, slaughtering a deer in his bedroom again.
Who are you hanging out with that makes those kinds of noises when they masturbate? I need to party with you. Dannis, I don’t usually say this about your culinary misadventures, but PLEASE WASTE THIS FOOD! He is a very nice person and so is his girlfriend. They’re both really fun to hang out with. Life is strange and the world is very small.